nibbling | open post pt. 2.

[ That's the first time, he thinks, that Iorveth has kissed him spontaneously, without being asked to in one way or another. He positively blooms under the affection. If he really were the sort of finicky cat Iorveth imagines him to be, he'd be rolling over and purring. ]

Why should you? I don't mind your fangs.

[ Iorveth's metaphorical ones, that is. If anything, Astarion's literal ones are far less sharp.

On impulse, he moves to shove Iorveth down onto the mattress so he can give him the proper, mind-blowing sort of kiss he's been practicing all his life— only to remember halfway through that he's still injured, the reminder coming in the form of sharp pain shooting down his leg and his arm as he moves. He hisses, hand coming up to cradle his shoulder. ]

Damn that hunter. Ugh, we really should have killed him.

[ They should have, for plenty of pragmatic reasons. He's not thinking about a single one of those right now, self-indulgent as he is; the only reason on his mind is because he's being kept from pinning Iorveth down and sticking his tongue in his mouth. How fun kissing is when it's of your own free will. ]

[ It's difficult to be brittle about a murder that they didn't commit when everything happening in the present is so impossibly pleasant. Iorveth even allows the manhandling onto the mattress, and finds himself vaguely disappointed when Astarion's injuries prevent him from finishing what he started. Can't be helped, though; wellbeing comes before spontaneous acts of need. ]

If he's fool enough to show his face again, [ sitting up, Iorveth cranes forward to press his lips against Astarion's hand, the one pressed against his wound. ] We will.

[ Bonding activities, Iorveth thinks idly. It's his turn to coax Astarion onto his back, insisting on it with his usual decisiveness, a hand to Astarion's uninjured shoulder to slant his balance. Down, he mouths, and follows Astarion onto the mattress to reward his compliance－

－after he reaches to tug his headscarf off. A concession, of sorts. Something bared, in return for Astarion's honesty. ]

If anyone is fool enough to lay claim to you, we'll kill them.

[ Cazador is on the top of that list. With Henselt dead, he's Iorveth's current Enemy No. 1. ]

[ He should be appalled that Iorveth has the audacity to tell him what to do, should resist just for the principle of it — but his back is already hitting the mattress in a matter of seconds, jostling his shoulder in his rush to comply, probably the only time he's ever listened to Iorveth without complaint.

The sting in his shoulder provokes a wince, but it's quickly replaced by a grin, which the removal of Iorveth's scarf does nothing to dim. Even as shallow as he is, Astarion couldn't care less about Iorveth's scars. They all have them, of one kind or another. Iorveth's are just a tad more literal than others. ]

Ooh, I love it when you talk murder to me.

[ His tone is teasing, but the words aren't untrue. He does love a good bloodthirst — but what's more, he delights in the safety in that promise, the feeling of safeness even more rare and precious than happiness. Were it to come from someone else, he might question the authenticity of the promise, brush it off as the sort of sweet thing one says when trying to impress someone but doesn't really mean. This is Iorveth, though, a man who's more frequently derisive than not. He's not sure Iorveth has ever said something he didn't mean, for good or ill. ]

Your safety demands your oppressors' death.

[ Simple. Iorveth may not want Astarion to become Cazador, but he sees immeasurable value in making sure that Cazador― and, by extension, anyone allied with Cazador― is killed. A century of seeing his men and women strung up by their neck from trees, and the thought of Astarion joining their ranks is chilling.

Sinking next to Astarion on the bed, he props his head up on his hand, elbow to the mattress. Without the headscarf, his hair is free to fall onto his face, jet-black strands obscuring the worst of the damage done to it; his expression is less severe than usual, calmly fond as he touches fingertips to Astarion's face. ]

You really are striking when you smile.

[ Smiling for the sake of smiling, not to seduce or to bargain. It'd be embarrassing for Iorveth if Astarion chose to push into his head via tadpole and saw exactly how Iorveth perceives Astarion in the moment, really. ]

Oh, I know.

[ No modesty here. His appearance is the one thing he's always been able to depend upon, his secret weapon for survival. One doesn't lure hundreds of people to their deaths by beauty alone if they're ugly. He's heard a million shallow compliments on his physical appearance over the centuries, but it's still nice to hear coming from Iorveth. It doesn't feel quite so shallow when said with the grave certainty Iorveth always speaks with.

Like a child playing with a doll, he reaches over to rearrange Iorveth's hair out of his face, fussing with it until it's just the way he wants. His pointer and middle finger drift down to Iorveth's mouth, then, each pushing up a corner to force him into a smile. ]

As are you.

[ There's a soft snort for Astarion's trouble, and Iorveth entertains the forced smile for a few seconds instead of pulling away immediately. When he does tilt back, escaping the fingers, he still looks slightly amused. ]

I'll allow you your delusions.

[ He knows he'll never be pretty to look at, smiling or no, but the sentiment is nice. Like Astarion's offer to repair his shirt, it seems a cruel thing to deny these subtle peace offerings outright; he exhales again, and takes Astarion's hand to kiss its knuckles again, the way he'd done at the tavern. ]

You'll need to rest until the others come back. [ A little muffled, mouth still pressed to skin. ] If you find the idea of staying put daunting, I'll go pilfer a book from Gale's pile.

[ Communal goods, at this point. ]

[ The feeling of Iorveth's warm mouth on his bony knuckles is just as exhilarating as the time before. How starved for affection must he be, to react to something so innocent like a scandalized noblewoman? This, at least, he can feel embarrassed about. ]

Why? Aren't you going to entertain me?

[ Iorveth had plans, he remembers. He decides to push his luck anyway. Surely he can buy a shirt another day. Or steal one from Gale, like they're discussing doing with his books, although Astarion isn't certain purple is Iorveth's color. ]

[ Another soft sound, mirth warming the edges of it. Sitting up a few inches, he lets Astarion have his hand back and cranes his neck for a better vantage point. ]

And how do you imagine me entertaining you?

[ The question is a light drawl, lenient in a way he wouldn't be for someone else. If anyone else asked him to entertain them, the answer would be a swift, brittle "I'm nobody's show elf", flat and humorless.

Instead, Iorveth glances towards the entrance to their room. Laughs under his breath, the sound warm but muted. ]

Nothing that would require me to lock the door.

[ His face erupts in a megawatt grin, delighted at Iorveth's cheekiness. ]

You dirty boy, [ he chides teasingly. ] I had nothing untoward in mind.

[ Well, maybe a little untoward. He's only a man; he can't help it if he starts wondering what tawdry uses there are for the tadpoles. In reality, though, even if the spirit were willing, the flesh is weak. He's reminded of that fact very tangibly as he shifts onto his side to peer at Iorveth. ]

Why don't we go through our ill-gotten goods, hm? If we wait until the others return, we'll never hear the end of it from the Blade of Frontiers.

[ Ugh. All those morals. So annoying. ]

[ Ill-gotten, but essential. Swinging up to sitting position, Iorveth shrugs his broad shoulders, dismissive of Wyll's inevitable disapproval. ]

The Blade can earn his right to lecture us in a hundred years' time.

[ A patronizing thing to say about someone that they'll far outlive; it's not that Iorveth dislikes Wyll, but he finds the moralizing exhausting. In a hundred years' time, Iorveth may still be hiding in caves with the last of his clan, and Wyll won't be alive to cast judgment on the state of humanity. Won't be around to make sure that Astarion is safe, either.

A clear line in the sand. The kind of line that he'd drawn between himself and Astarion before, now scuffed beyond recognition. Iorveth gets up to retrieve his pack with the stolen goods housed inside, kneels on the floor by the edge of the mattress, and starts to lay out the various items on the open space on the bed. ]

Sunbeam, [ he says, wrinkling his nose as he inspects one of the scrolls. ] How effective would this have been against you, I wonder.

[ Astarion pushes himself up, grunting softly at the twinge in his shoulder, and surveys their loot with a discerning eye. He's careful not to touch either of the daggers Iorveth appropriated, the memory of that radiant burn still fresh in his mind. Instead, he opens the pack that had swung from the hunter's belt, peering at the contents from above instead of sticking his hand in for fear that there's more vampire-repellent inside.

Dryly: ] I hope you're not thinking to test it. [ He might walk in the day without difficulty now, but Astarion still doesn't relish the idea of being blasted with light. ] What's important is that it'll be effective against Cazador.

[ With care, he extracts a vial of clear liquid from the pack. ]

Ah, holy water. Nothing better to splash profane abominations with.

[ Iorveth plucks the daggers and the throwing knife to set them on the bedside table, away from accidental contact. The radiant energy only translates to him as a vague warmth imbued into the blade and hilt, a squint-and-see-it glow woven into the structure of the weapons. It seems permanent, which is convenient.

A glance towards the vial, and he hikes a brow. ]

Not enough of it to do anything but irritate.

[ But better than nothing. He fishes out a stake, and huffs. ]

How quickly does Cazador regenerate? If you've an idea. [ Maybe not; it doesn't seem likely that Astarion would ever have had a chance to see Cazador hurt. ]

Edited 2024-07-19 04:31 (UTC)

[ Astarion places the vial back in the pack, no interest in getting an accidental splash should he drop it, and watches Iorveth unearth the stake. It's funny. When they first met, the sight of Iorveth with a stake would have made him lunge for his own dagger. Like Iorveth when Astarion feigned threatening him in front of the hunter, letting him hold that stake is like allowing him to put a blade to Astarion's throat and trust that he won't do the cutting. He's surprised to find that he doesn't even flinch. Then again, Astarion already supplied him with deadlier weapons than a stake every time he opened up to him. If Iorveth wanted to hurt him, he could have already.

A sobering thought. ]

I don't know.

[ The question makes him frown. ]

He never needed to. [ Not that Astarion was ever privy to, anyway, but there's a part of him that believes Cazador has never been injured, never been weak. He ruled Astarion's life like a god for so long. It seems only reasonable that he's invulnerable like one, too. ] Undoubtedly fast.

[ Cazador is far more powerful than Astarion, even after this journey. A sick feeling forms in the pit of his stomach, and he suddenly doesn't want to think about facing Cazador anymore. He flops back on the mattress with a dejected sigh, too forceful for his own good. ]

Ow.

[ The stake is hefty in Iorveth's hand. Suitably heavy for a weapon to combat an immortal being. In all of Iorveth's many, many years spent fighting, he's never had to square off against anything that repels death in the way Cazador must.

It's still hard to imagine. Harder, still, to imagine being subjugated by an entity so inexorable. Iorveth has tried to relate, in part, through what he supposes might be their shared experiences in having to embrace futility: his resignation regarding the obliteration of his entire race, and Astarion's resignation regarding the obliteration of his entire being.

Heavy. At least Iorveth's had time to come to terms with himself, while Astarion has only had, what, weeks? Negligible. No wonder he flops back down onto the bed and away from the reminders of what have to be done, tempted as Iorveth is to scold him about staying on track.

Oh well. Iorveth can indulge the finicky cat just this once. Items get set aside again, and he scoots up close to Astarion, sitting up with his fingers carding lightly through Astarion's hair. ]

Something worth investigating when you have more blood in you. [ Pain makes people morose. He continues petting Astarion idly, listening for footsteps coming up the stairs. ] It beats looking for bits of clown in underground caves.

[ Look on the bright side― Dribbles is dead. Iorveth traces the tapered end of Astarion's ear, playing with the pleasant feel of cartilage between the pads of his fingers. ]

[ As pragmatic as Iorveth is, Astarion had expected to be chided for the little tantrum he's now throwing. He can practically hear the reprimand: wallowing won't make Cazador any less powerful or any more dead. It's a pleasant surprise to be offered comfort instead, and he leans into Iorveth's warm, gentle hand like a flower turning toward the sun. Hard to believe this is the man who stabbed him with an arrow last night. ]

Oh, I don't know. There's something rather satisfying about a dead clown.

[ A faint smile turns up the corners of his mouth, but it's fleeting, and the next moment he frowns again. Cazador would do such awful things to Iorveth if he knew how he made Astarion feel. You've brought home a stray, he'd say. Time to put it down. ]

I know I asked for your help, but— [ But what? He's scared? That's far too pathetic and vulnerable to say. ] Perhaps it's for the best that you sit it out, when the time comes.

[ The fingers sifting through Astarion's hair stop mid-motion. An obvious pause made even more glaring, since this is all very out-of-character for Iorveth; if Astarion cares to look, the expression that sits on Iorveth's face should be more familiar. The tight-lipped frown of clear offense, anger sitting right under that indignation. ]

You didn't run. Why should I?

[ An instinctive snapback, though Iorveth sees the hypocrisy in it the moment it comes out of his mouth. He'd offered Astarion the same escape route more than once, and had been angry when he didn't take it. It's the same offer, not given lightly or without a genuine reason, but his pride stings anyway.

He takes a moment to breathe. In, out. His frown falters on his face, even if the remnants of it linger. ]

...I thought you would've had plans to use me as your meat shield.

[ Clipped, but trying to ease into the real question of "what's the problem?" He lifts his hand from Astarion's hair, and rests it on the mattress instead. ]

Edited 2024-07-19 23:17 (UTC)

[ Astarion touches his fingertips to his head where Iorveth had stroked his hair, disappointed that he stopped. He shifts onto his side again, face half-buried in the pillow, eyes not quite meeting Iorveth's. ]

I— perhaps I'd hoped for that once. Tendays ago.

[ He'd been comfortable using them all as meat shields, back then. Unconcerned with the idea that they could all die to better his circumstances. The biggest problem he'd had was whether or not he could actually convince them to risk their lives for him; what happened after that, he'd thought, was of negligible importance. Then the stupid fools had gone and made him like them, Iorveth included, and— ]

But I've no intention of using you now.

[ A sobering gesture, Iorveth thinks. Astarion, turning onto his side to protect himself from his own unguarded admission. Most of his ire fades into the background when he takes it in, suffused by pesky, unaccounted-for affection. The first thing in ages that feels completely out of Iorveth's tight control. ]

The burden of caring. [ An observation that might touch a nerve. But Iorveth makes it anyway, hiking more of himself up onto the bed. ] Heavy, isn't it.

[ He gets it. He's cared for far too long, and for very little. Caring isn't new for him anymore, but it is for Astarion; Iorveth tries to remember what that weight'd felt like, back when it settled slightly more poorly on his shoulders. At least he'd had others to share it with.

He touches his hand to Astarion's shoulder, avoiding the inflamed wound. ]

What are your intentions with me now? Plainly.

[ "I won't be mad" seems like a ridiculous thing to say. Iorveth, a man who is more mad than anything else. ]

[ Iorveth's hand on his shoulder is a pleasant gesture, but not particularly comforting. It's that pleasantness that's the problem. If he didn't think Iorveth gave a damn, he'd be happy to put him in the line of fire, sacrifice him if needed — but Iorveth keeps doing horrible things like caring and, gods, even being kind. ]

I don't know, [ he says, sounding very petulant, voice partially muffled against the pillow. He hadn't really thought about it, in truth. Astarion had gone along, expecting Iorveth to throw himself alongside him into the lion's den, until just now when he realized how awful it would feel to lose someone who finally cares for him. It's all selfishness and cowardice, the fear of getting hurt. ]

I suppose I thought you could stay behind, and then I'd return triumphant, and we could celebrate my victory together. Vigorously.

[ Don't laugh, Iorveth tells himself. He's being vulnerable. Don't laugh.

He laughs. Not as derisively as he might have, as Astarion very accurately calculated, tendays ago. But he does laugh. ]

You're ridiculous. [ A child. He's noticed that Astarion isn't exactly the "sit down and map out meticulous courses of action" kind of person, but even so, the coupling of I don't know with I thought I'd win and we'd fuck is just.

Gods, it's fucking appalling to think of how horrific it must've been to live with Cazador for Astarion to end up like this, actually. Iorveth breathes, and rests back on his hands.

Fond. It's so annoying, how much he likes Astarion. ] Take me with you. You wouldn't last a minute in battle without me watching your back.

[ Iorveth actually laughs. The audacity! Astarion shoots him daggers, eyes narrowed and mouth curled into a pout. If not for the undercurrent of fondness to it, Astarion would shut down entirely and put up his emotional walls, but the slight affection to the way Iorveth calls him ridiculous is enough to keep him from closing in on himself. Pathetic.

He braves sitting up again, although he brings the knee of his uninjured leg to his chest, wrapping his arms around it as if to protect himself. ]

You've given me some sort of horrible affliction, [ he accuses before his tone turns almost disbelieving. ] I want to keep you safe.

[ It's awful. He can hardly believe people live like this all the time, just caring about people willy-nilly. ]

[ Iorveth's turn, as he digests that horrible, achingly wanted word, safe, to think about audacity. The affectionate smirk fades, making way for surprise mixed with a kneejerk instinct to pull back and away. Safe, as if there's ever been anyone in one hundred years who could've tried to assure him of the possibility of it.

It's staggering, coming from Astarion. If anyone'd asked him before Moonrise Towers, under the threat of death, to choose one person out of the group he'd likely feel secure around, Astarion wouldn't even have been on the list of candidates.

Stupid. Utterly foolish. He can't believe Astarion would do this to him, would blindside him, would break beyond casual interest to whatever-the-fuck this is.

Ugh. Iorveth leans sideways to press their mouths together, no finesse and all instinct. When he pulls back, it's only a sliver; he hisses, just as accusatory: ]

You've seen my face. You've had my blood. You've been in my bed. [ Another kiss, to punctuate the point. ] ―This is the safest I've ever felt, you fool.

[ For a horrible split second, he's afraid he said something wrong. He's never cared for someone, doesn't know the steps. The look of surprise on Iorveth's face makes his stomach drop, his inner voice berating him for ever saying something so stupid and vulnerable. His mouth is open in an instant, poised to take it back, say something cruel and hurtful that will give him back the power in this interaction— but then Iorveth's mouth is on his, and he's confused but certainly not displeased.

His brain shuts off after that, if it were ever on to begin with; Iorveth might as well be speaking in his Aen Seidhe dialect, for all that Astarion comprehends it. When he pulls away, Astarion wraps a hand around the nape of his neck, chasing him. It's only as he's attempting to slide his tongue inside Iorveth's mouth that he remembers the conversation they were having only moments ago, and he pulls himself back with some effort. ]

You won't feel safe when you're staring down a vampire lord in his lair.

[ When that started mattering to him, he's not sure. He thinks back to Henselt, how he'd refused every out he was given with some excuse or another. How he'd had the chance to leave Iorveth for dead and couldn't do it, how he'd lied and said he had a better chance of survival with Iorveth because he couldn't bear to admit that he might actually care. ]

I just— don't want something to happen. [ To you, is the unsaid meaning. ]

[ Iorveth knows exactly what his response might've been to "I don't want something to happen to you", if it was either spoken in the past or by someone else: "I've evaded the gallows for more than a century, and I don't need to be condescended to." But it's Astarion saying it, with all of his complexities and context, and it makes Iorveth ache, not angry.

He should be gentler about pulling their bodies close, but kissing Astarion again feels too urgent. The entire party could come back right now, burst through that door, and he would hardly register it. Far too busy closing the gap, parting his lips for better access to Astarion's tongue, trying to taste him. His voice is a low rasp by the time he tips back for air, his breathing verging on ragged. ]

And? Do you think I could bear it if something happened to you in my absence?

[ He could, technically. He knows that he's endured loss many times over, and that he'll continue to endure whatever he must until he finally dies from it. But the grief would be immense, and holding it would break something in him, as these things always do. He would become even more jagged than he already is, would never invite anyone else into his space again.

He lowers his head, letting their foreheads touch. ] It's you that Cazador wants. I'll not stand idly by.

[ He feels thoughtless and fuzzy from the inviting heat of Iorveth's mouth, eyes a little glazed over and unfocused when they separate. How thrilling, to have someone express that they care so plainly and assertively. The naked affection of it feels downright salacious, his face hot as if Iorveth has just said something scandalous. It is scandalous, these exchanged words far more intimate than anything he's ever done with his body. ]

You unbearable man, [ he says, although he doesn't sound particularly upset. ] You're intolerably vexing.

[ Astarion has never had anything for his own before; he longs to lock it away, keep it safe so no one can take it. It's exasperating that Iorveth won't just listen to him, won't just do what he says. It's a similar irritation to when Iorveth rejected the idea of being kept, although the feeling is buffered by fondness.

Warning: ] I'm going to be very upset with you if you die.

[ Even then, death is hardly the worst thing that Cazador could do to him. Iorveth will resent Astarion, he's sure, if he's forced into subjugation again for his sake. ]

—I forbid it, actually.

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